Growing up, I didn't like that quote...at all. Honestly, I thought it was one of the most depressing things I had ever heard.
I grew up in a big Italian family where the word quiet did not exist. It was chaos in the best way with laughter and a million people... I loved every second of it.
To me, the word alone always sounded a lot like a synonym for lonely.
I did what most people do: I spent a lot of time avoiding the stillness. It wasn't even on purpose, I just didn't know how to exist in the quiet by myself. I always had to be busy and moving.
The Seasonal Nature of Life
As I've gotten older, I've learned life and the universe have a funny way of teaching lessons. Friends move. Family dynamics shift. Partners leave.
The people you thought would be in your life forever turn out to only be there for a season.
Your world ebbs and flows in ways you cannot control.
It wasn't until recently that the quote finally clicked for me. Through every celebration, every heartbreak, the highs and the lows, the only constant was and will always be me.
The Foundation Is You
The relationship with yourself is one of the most important relationships you will ever have. It is the compass that guides you in all you do.
You are the foundation for everything in your life.
You are the only person you can control.
You are the only guarantee.
I get it, that can be scary, but it's freeing. You are and have always been in the driver's seat of your life. It's just up to you to take the wheel.
Things That Bring Me Back to Life
These are some little things I do almost daily to get more in touch with myself (even on the not-so-quiet days):
1. Before the Sun Rises
One of my favorite things to do (that I need to do more often) is wake up before the world does, when everything is still quiet right before the sunrises. I put on affirmations, listen to meditation music, journal, make coffee, and just be. It's peaceful and gets me in the mindset for the day ahead before it truly begins.
2. Romanticizing the Mundane
I don't wait for the "special days". I don't leave the house without my hair and/or makeup done (even if I am just wearing sweats!). I love taking the time to get ready. Some may say it's vain, but hair and makeup are like art to me...it's therapeutic. When I am done up, it makes even the most boring day feel exciting, and it is my armor to face whatever may come my way.
3. Solo Dates
I commend the people who can take themselves to dinner, but that is just not me. My solo dates consist of walks, coffee runs, reading, painting, shopping, putting on my favorite playlist, and going for a drive. They're small things, but they're things that bring me joy and connect me back to myself.
3. Journaling
This one I keep coming back to, and every time I do, I wonder why I stopped. I am currently in a big journaling phase. I just do an honest writing dump of where my head is at, and it helps me stay grounded, no matter what is going on. There's so much self-discovery that journaling can bring.
Being Your Own Home
Learning to be alone isn't about isolating yourself from the world. When you stop running from the quiet and start learning to enjoy your own company, it gives room for you to show up for everyone else and, most importantly, yourself.
It took me almost 20 years to realize that alone is not a scary word, it's a powerful one where you find your strength and inner voice.
So if you're in a season where things are shifting, remember you are the constant. You always have you, and you are more than enough.
Building a relationship with yourself is a lifelong project. What is one small thing you did for yourself this week? Leave a comment and let’s inspire each other!
Unfiltered always,
Kelly | The Unfiltered Blonde
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